Browsing Tag

sexism

Theology

relative relationships, and why confusion can be healthy

Many evangelical Christians, especially the more conservative branches, are extremely uncomfortable with the word relative — at least, if the term is used favorably. Growing up and in college, it was used pejoratively. They usually used it in the context of post-modern ideologies, especially the concept of “moral relativism,” which, to the people I knew, was a dirty, dirty word. There is no such thing as “relative morality,” they would assert. There is One Supreme and Absolute Truth, and no others. If you deny Absolute Truth, you are denying God, in their view.

If you’re not familiar with the concept of Absolute Truth, here’s how they would explain it:

Christians have the unique ability to perceive and discuss Absolute Truth, as we have the Holy Spirit guiding us to a proper understanding of reality. God created the world with natural laws–physical, spiritual, and moral. There is only One Truth because there is only one Triune God, and no truth can exist apart from Him.

However, here’s what they actually mean:

Christians are superior to everyone else, because everyone else in the world is completely blinded by sin. Ignore the fact that Christians are also totally corrupted by sin– that doesn’t matter when it comes to Absolute Truth. I know what it is, and you are sliding into dangerous territory when you argue with me about it. No, it’s not possible for two people to have two different understandings of the same thing and both be right. Kant was a Satan worshiper. So was Hegel. And Kierkegaard.

Conservative evangelical Christians, at least so far in my experience, are utterly entrenched in the Enlightenment. They view nearly everything in the created world the same way the Modernists did. In one way, this is absolutely hysterical, since I can recall at least an entire week in every literature and history class I took in college being dedicated to the evils of the Enlightenment and those durn neo-Classicists. They, like the humanists of Plato’s time and the humanists of the Italian Renaissance ignored God and worshiped only themselves. They exalted man, and that resulted in corrupting everything they touched. (Interesting note: They call the Italian Renaissance the “Southern Renaissance,” completely ignoring that the Southern Renaissance actually refers to a post-modern art period in America. They’re attempting to distinguish the Italian Renaissance from the Protestant Revolution.)

Modernist thinking can be boiled down to essentially one word: categorization. It was the mission of nearly every single Modern scientist and thinker to slap a label on everything they found or thought up. Labeling something, they seemed to think, gave them greater understanding and control over that thing. This was not necessarily true in practice, although I’m not trying to dismiss Newtonian physics or anything.

That principle of labeling is still very much in use today. And when someone rejects their assigned label– like “woman,” for example, there’s a little bit of an uproar about it. Going against your label, to many conservative evangelicals, is the same thing as going against Nature, and Natural Laws are just one example of the Great Absolute Truth that only Christians can see.

Breaking out of this system is excruciatingly difficult. I haven’t done it, yet. I’m trying, but every few days I run into something that frustrates me beyond words because I simply don’t have the tools to understand it.

Like the goodness of the idea behind relative.

I call this idea “good” in a biblical sense, because the root of the idea in relative is relationships. When something is relative, it means it can only be evaluated in relation to something else. We understand an object partly because of what it is, but mostly because of what it is not. It’s difficult to truly understand the essentialness of an object by trying to isolate it. Nothing exists in a vacuum.

Including me.

I can only understand who I am in relation to God, and to Christ. When I begin to understand the meaning and the purpose behind my relationship to Christ, that is the only way I can understand myself.

However, this intrinsically means that no one else can have the same relation to God. You are a different person, in a different position, and you have a different perspective granted to you by your physiological, biochemical, and life experiences. And these differences are good.

Yes, this does mean that you will never be able to understand something the exact same way that I understand something. Yes, I’ll never be capable of truly communicating. There will always be a break-down between the necessity to use arbitrary language and the integrity and fullness of my thought. However, identifying that break-down as bad, as a “loss of meaning,” as Derrida asserted in Différance, isn’t necessarily the only way of seeing that. Maybe the fact that as I’m explaining my thought to you, your comprehension of it based on the nuance of your experience adds a richness and depth I couldn’t have attained on my own.

We all see a different Face of God, and that’s a wonderful thing.

 Photo by Michael Havens
Feminism

on how wearing pants didn’t turn me into a hooker

The first time I ever bought myself a pair of jeans is a vivid memory, complete with distinct recollections of every pair of jeans I tried on (six different stores, a grand total of twenty-one jeans). You might think this is odd. How old was I, twelve?

I was twenty.

I wore pants when I was a kid, up until I was nine. I was a military brat, and it never occurred to me to think of pants as I would later come to view them– as immodest, as unfeminine, as wordly, and frankly, when hip-huggers + thongs became a popular thing when I was teenager, as slutty. Interestingly enough, when I was eight and a Sparky in AWANAS, my mother mandated that I must wear pants to the activities, since we played active, flamboyant games and she’d caught a seven-year-old boy peeking up the girls’ skirts.

But, when I was nine, we moved to northwest Florida, to a town that was roughly twenty minutes away from the Alabama border, and we started attending an Independent Fundamental, hellfire-and-brimstone-preaching Baptist Church (IFB). And there went my pants. Mom didn’t even bother to donate them to the rescue mission. She cut them up and Dad used them for rags.

So, as a sophomore in college, I hadn’t worn pants in eleven years– certainly not after I’d sprouted “child-bearing” hips and an ass when I was fourteen. However, my family had finally left the IFB church and been excommunicated and shunned, and we were doing all kinds of crazy things like going to movie theaters and exercising in public. My mother even (gasp) cut her hair. One of my best friends decided it was high time that I own a pair of jeans.

To the mall we went.

We went to JCPenney’s first, back when they were uncool, and my friend outright forbade me from buying mom-jeans. But how, I thought glumly to myself, am I going to find jeans that are modest?

She dragged me, forcibly, to Aeropostale, the sluttiest of slutty teen stores at our mall. At least, in my opinion. At the time. I had no idea that things like the Body Shop, Wet Seal, and 5-7-9 existed. The day I determined to buy a “little black dress” and I went into a Body Shop is a whole ‘nother tale.  She threw me into a changing booth with a pair of jeans and told me to put them on.

Five minutes later, I still hadn’t emerged from the changing room.

“Well?” Her tone was bordering on the impatient.

“I can’t come out!”

“Why the hell not?” (My friend had a ‘potty mouth.’ It was invigorating.)

I practically whimpered. “You can see my butt.”

She laughed. Uproariously. “I think that’s kinda the point, dearie.” (My friend also had pet names for me.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I eventually bought a size-too-large pair of boyfriend-style jeans from the GAP. Now, five years later, I’m a jeans-and-hoodie girl. I even bought skinny jeans… last year. Took me a while to catch on to the whole “pants are not the devil” idea.

What took me almost just as long to realize is that the over-emphasis on modesty is a (one of many) false-front on a huge ideological problem: that women are nothing more than sexual objects. It’s laughable to me that the IFB movement spends so much time preaching against the over-sexualization of our girls when the very same preachers are guilty of the exact same crime against “womanhood” and “femininity.” I once heard a preacher claim  that wearing any item of clothing with a zipper in the front was immodest. Bizarrely, he said that a woman placing anything in front of her ahem “maidenly parts” called a man’s attention to her hoo-ha.

Because we all know that a woman’s ankles will force a man to lust after her in his heart, after all. Men have no self-control whatsoever, no sir. They see a collarbone and tip over from all the blood in their head rushing away. Women must guard men’s minds, you see. They’re base animals, nothing more than horndogs.

Which begs an interesting question… if men are all incapable of acting responsibly, why do they spend so much time talking about vaginas in church?

Photo by Francisco Osorio