search terms for my blog


So I’ve been meaning to do one of these for a while. Seems like it could be a fun break, and after the past few posts my brain needs to write some fluff. Also, there will be swearing today, mateys, because that’s how I normally talk, and I’m keeping it real. YOLO.

I’ll be answering some of the questions/search terms that people have used to stumble their way here, in order of popularity.

“Which lines from Part I of “The Hollow Men” imply that what people say is insignificant? Explain why your answer choice is correct.”

In my opinion, they are as follows:

“Headpiece filled with straw”
“As wind in dry grass”

But that’s just me. Not telling you why– nope, not going to do your homework for you. Why this is the most-searched question that gets people here, I have no idea. I’ve mentioned “The Hollow Men” a time or to, because it’s my favorite poem. No, seriously, it’s wonderful.

“sexual abuse in churches statistics”

Well, on average, 1 in 4 girls will be sexually abused and 1 in 6 boys. However, there is research that indicates  that the second-best indicator of whether or not a child will be sexually abused is “whether or not the parents belong to a conservative religious group with traditional role beliefs and rigid sexual attitudes.” That could mean that sexual abuse among children could be higher in a lot of churches (Brown and Bohn, 1989; Finkelhor, 1986; Fortune, 1983; Goldstein et al, 1973; Van Leeuwen, 1990; Heggen 1993).

Ok… not lighter. Moving on.

“Is sex before marriage cheating on your future spouse?”


“What causes church hopping?”

For me, it was caused by how I was told to never, ever do it as a child because church hoppers are bad people. Made it irresistible. Also, I was told all my life that my church was the only church that had the “right” Christianity. It was a bit of a shock when I started attending different denominations and saw for myself that was just plain not true.

“Is educating women good or bad?”

Well, if you’re a man and you’re trying to maintain absolute control over half of the human population and make sure that you keep all of the money, knowledge, and success to yourself, then bad, I suppose.

Good luck with no Theory of Relativity. Or computer programming. Or modern medicine. Or science fiction.

“Why is patriarchy important?”

I wish I had more context for this question. Why is it important to know about, to know how it functions, to know what it does to people? Because patriarchy hurts everyone my friend, not just women. It punishes men who don’t fit the current stereotype of what “manly” is (and that can change drastically over time for completely arbitrary reasons). It does untold damage to women, non-gender-conforming folks, and pretty much everyone who isn’t a white cisgender heterosexual male, even though it screws with them, too.

In fact, I recommend you look into kyriarchy. It’s a much more useful term.

“Can you be sexist against men?”

That depends on how you define sexism. A lot of people define “sexism” as exclusively meaning “prejudice based on sex.” In which case, yes, women can have prejudice against men because they are men. So can men, by the way, and people who are neither.

However, the problem with defining sexism this way it that it ignores the power that men have that women and non-binary people don’t. Sure, I can be as prejudiced as all fuck against men. However, do I have an institutional and cultural system that backs up my prejudice, that robs men of their agency? Nope.

“Do men like sexually unresponsive women?”

Probably men who are rapists, depending. If the “unresponsive woman” consented and is still consenting to the sex act, then… more power to them? I guess? That just seems suuuuper creepy to me.

“Can a future husband know if you’ve had sex?”

If you’re gay, then there’s absolutely zero way to tell. None at all.

If you’re straight, there’s also zero way to tell, because virginity is something a bunch of people a long time ago made up so that they could make more money for selling their daughters and we’ve all sort of continued believing in this completely made-up thing that doesn’t actually exist. Hymens come in all shapes and sizes and thicknesses, and yours could have been worn down by tampons or rigorous exercise. Just to screw with your brain a little, in as many as 52% of cases, young women can have heterosexual vaginal intercourse and come out on the other side of it with their hymen completely intact. (Archives of Pediatric Adolescent Medicine, “Differences in Hymenal Morphology between Adolescent Girls with and without a History of Consensual Sexual Intercourse,” March 2004.)

“What action do you take if you find your wife not a virgin?”

Do you live in ancient biblical times? STONE HER!

Do you live in 2014? Okay, well then, move on with your life because it doesn’t fucking matter, dickhead– she married you, and that’s the only thing that you should be caring about. Also, I feel a little bad for her. She married a dickhead.

“Should I tell my future wife about my first marriage?”

Probably? Wow, how did more than one person get here by asking The Almighty Google this? I mean, it didn’t really work out so well for Rochester, and I get all of my life lessons from gothic literature.

“Is wearing thigh high stockings under jeans sexy or not?”

Do you think so? Then yes– it’s incredibly sexy!

If not– then no, no it isn’t.

Hint: you get to choose what you think is sexy, and no one gets to tell you what that is.

And, for the last one: “Can I love God and not be a fundamentalist?”

Oh, yes, lovely, yes you can.

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  • Unfortunately, my most popular search terms are all boring and relevant to what I write such as “The Story of King David” and the “magisterial reformation”. Except for one: “Is Peter Hollens a Christian?” The further down you get though, interesting ones like “Lindsey Stirling shoes” and “Babylon 5 station pictures” start showing up.

    Love the one about stockings, though.

  • I too find it really odd what Google questions drive traffic to my blog. It’s usually good for a laugh or six. Your responses are hilarious and made me smile.

  • Reblogged this on StarkravingInsanity and commented:
    True about the patriarchy bit, and the church bit, in so many ways.

  • This is fascinating. 😛 The people who find your blog have very different things on their minds than I do on mind. I found you because one of the many atheists I follow on my @JustLoseFaith twitter account linked to your “Let’s Talk Sex and Alcohol” post. I think it was one of the atheists. That’s where most of the anti-rape & rape culture/sex positivity/feminism stuff I follow comes from, but maybe not. I follow a few Christian feminists too and stuff… Anyway I’m gonna have to figure out where on wordpress you can find out how people come across your blog. 😛 I’m curious about my own blog(s) now.

  • ReverendRef

    Should I tell my future wife about my first marriage?

    Well, considering that this will come up in any competent and honest pre-marriage sessions with your clergy person . . . he damn well better tell her. Because, among other things, there’s this little thing called honesty in a relationship and, bluntly, I don’t want to have to deal with the fallout when she hears for the first time in my office that you’ve been married before.

    Oh … and I’m neither a) smart enough to figure out how to find out what google search terms brought people to my blog; or b) read widely enough for me to worry about it.

  • Julie

    I love to read your blog. Congrats on recovering from fundamentalism. Speaking as a public school teacher, I want to encourage you to stop hyphenating every word with a prefix….un, re, etc. You don’t need them. Save yourself the extra step:)